Ethan finally gets the win he wanted
One meeting goes Ethan's way; the career series still belongs to Alex.
Week five of BC Busters came down to who actually showed up with a real lineup. Ethan got the win over Alex he's been chasing, Davante's Inferno still hasn't lost, and at least two teams found out the hard way that the bench card matters as much as the matchup.
🏆 WINNER OF THE WEEK — Drew (The Snap)
Drew, nobody saw this coming — except Drew, apparently, who put up the league's season-high 169.26 with The Snap and ran Sarah's Boss Team off the field by 89.46, the week's biggest margin. That's 43.2 points over his own projection, not an accident. The Snap has won 3 straight, sits 4-1, and just knocked Sarah four spots down to sixth. Respect it; it's earned, grudgingly.
💀 LOSER OF THE WEEK — Cristian (T-t-t-t-today Junior!)
Cristian, you told the room lineup day makes you sweat, and this week proves it should. Your T-t-t-t-today Junior! benched Kyle Pitts Sr.'s 12.7 points for Kenyon Sadiq's -0.7 — one swap that turns a 103.52-102.1 loss into a win. Josh Allen's lone interception cost another 2 points on top of it. Edred escaped by 1.42, and somewhere out there is a version of this week where you're not 2-3.
| Final | Margin |
|---|---|
| Wildcats&Wolverines 144.74, The Vibes Voyagers 105.8 | 38.94 |
| The Snap 169.26, Sarah's Boss Team 79.8 | 89.46 |
| Davante’s Inferno 148.94, Here Come the Irish 94.34 | 54.6 |
| The Sonoran Dogs 130.7, Sama's Fine Team 95.74 | 34.96 |
| Edred's Expert Team 103.52, T-t-t-t-today Junior! 102.1 | 1.42 |
| ManBearPig 140.16, Little Ditka Energy 62.06 | 78.1 |
| Chitown daddy 83.42, Pantalones en Fuego 74.98 | 8.44 |
Seven results, and the common thread is what each team didn't do right before kickoff.
Ethan Finally Gets His Guy
Ethan's ManBearPig put up 140.16 and buried Alex's Little Ditka Energy by 78.1, and this season he owns it 1-0. It's only his 3rd win in 13 meetings — Alex still leads the all-time series 10-3 — but it's the one Ethan's been asking for.
They call Ethan America's Dive Champ, but it was Alex doing the diving this week, face-first into the Toilet Bowl at 62.06, the week's lowest score, the second week running this column has had to say his name. Alex, the lineup wasn't the issue; getting outscored by 78.1 doesn't leave much else to blame. The defending champion is now 1-4, a complication nobody wrote down at media day.
kelsey Won't Lose
kelsey's Davante's Inferno put up 148.94 and left StephanieP's Here Come the Irish behind by 54.6 — the 5th straight win and the only unbeaten record left at 5-0. Over 5 games that's an average of 125.57 points, better than the best 5-game pace in any of the 138 completed team-seasons on file, where the old high topped out at 124.61. kelsey, that's not early-season noise anymore.
The defense is still a revolving door — 4 different starters in 5 weeks, a habit that works until it doesn't. And this isn't kelsey's first trip to 2-0: it's the 3rd time since 2018, and the other 2 never reached the playoffs. Worth watching whether this one's different.
The Kicker Game Nobody Wanted
Hector's Chitown daddy beat Brent's Pantalones en Fuego 83.42-74.98, and take away Cam Little's 9.1 points and Hector doesn't win that game. Nobody wanted it; somebody had to take it. Hector's won 2 straight now, for whatever that's worth at 2-3.
Brent, this is 4 losses in a row, and starting Roman Wilson for zero at W/R/T while Tre Tucker's 5.5 sat on the bench didn't help the cause. The schedule isn't getting easier, but the lineup card doesn't have to be the opponent too.
sama Needs a Spark
sama's Sama's Fine Team fell to Jeff P's The Sonoran Dogs 95.74-130.7, the 2nd loss in a row. Derrick Henry put up 20.5, but with Patrick Mahomes on bye the quarterback job went to Tyler Shough, who finished at -0.16. sama, five pickups this season and not one of them was a quarterback for the bye week; at 2-3, the next one should be. Jeff P climbs to 3-2 and 5th.
| # | Team | W-L | GB | PF | Streak | Move |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Davante’s Inferno | 5-0 | — | 627.8 | W5 | — |
| 2 | The Snap | 4-1 | 1 | 616.2 | W3 | ▲1 |
| 3 | ManBearPig | 4-1 | 1 | 529.8 | W3 | ▲1 |
| 4 | Wildcats&Wolverines | 3-2 | 2 | 637.3 | W1 | ▲1 |
| 5 | The Sonoran Dogs | 3-2 | 2 | 618.8 | W1 | ▲1 |
| 6 | Sarah's Boss Team | 3-2 | 2 | 551.3 | L1 | ▼4 |
| 7 | Sama's Fine Team | 2-3 | 3 | 543.9 | L2 | — |
| 8 | Here Come the Irish | 2-3 | 3 | 520.8 | L1 | — |
| 9 | Chitown daddy | 2-3 | 3 | 508.3 | W2 | ▲1 |
| 10 | Edred's Expert Team | 2-3 | 3 | 504.3 | W1 | ▲3 |
| 11 | T-t-t-t-today Junior! | 2-3 | 3 | 487.8 | L1 | ▼2 |
| 12 | Pantalones en Fuego | 1-4 | 4 | 482.8 | L4 | ▼1 |
| 13 | Little Ditka Energy | 1-4 | 4 | 468.7 | L2 | ▼1 |
| 14 | The Vibes Voyagers | 1-4 | 4 | 426.7 | L4 | — |
Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines actually lead the league in points this season at 637.26 while sitting 4th at 3-2 — the standings and the scoreboard are telling two different stories. Eleven teams sit within a game of the last playoff spot, and nobody in that pack, Alex and Brent included, can afford many more weeks like this one.
- 🏆 Top Score: The Snap — 169.26
- 🚽 Toilet Bowl: Little Ditka Energy — 62.06
- 🔨 Beatdown: The Snap over Sarah's Boss Team by 89.46
- 😰 Photo Finish: Edred's Expert Team over T-t-t-t-today Junior! by 1.42
- 📈 Overachiever: The Snap, +43.2 over projection
- 📉 Faceplant: Sarah's Boss Team, -31.3 under projection
- 🪑 Bench of the Week: Sarah's Boss Team left Jayden Daniels (32.26) on the bench
- ⭐ Player of the Week: Drake Maye (47.46) — started by ManBearPig
Two numbers up there never made the stories: Sarah's Boss Team sat Jayden Daniels's 32.26 behind Sam Darnold's 10.3 in an 89.46-point loss, and Ethan's Drake Maye went for 47.46, the best start of the week.
Eleven teams are still bunched at the cut line. Cristian gets a week to stew over one bad tight end swap, and kelsey gets to find out whether a 3rd trip to 2-0 finally turns into a playoff run. Set the bench with purpose — this week it was the whole game.
Same time next week. Set your lineups.