Mark finally trades. Mark still loses.
Two trades in four days, zero wins to show for it
🏆 WINNER OF THE WEEK — Stephanie (Wildcats&Wolverines)
Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines posted the week's top score, 130.24, in a blowout of Brent's Pantalones en Fuego. It's part of a pattern: six games in, Stephanie (Wildcats&Wolverines) is scoring at a 127.92-point-per-game pace, already above the best full-season team average this league has on record, 124.61. Tyler Bass joined off the wire and delivered 18.7 in his debut. Two straight wins, the league's most points for at 767.5, and the number keeps climbing.
💀 LOSER OF THE WEEK — kelsey (Davante's Inferno)
kelsey's Davante's Inferno came in 5-0 with the league's best record, and still holds the top seed at 5-1 on points over Ethan's ManBearPig — but left with the week's biggest miss against projection, -50.8. Jeff P's The Sonoran Dogs ended that streak, 88.78 to 75.22. kelsey, benching DeMario Douglas's 16.1 for MarShawn Lloyd's one point alone turns that loss into a win. The defense carousel kept spinning too — a fifth different starter this season, with the Colts (3) in the lineup while the Browns (10) sat on the bench.
| Final | Margin |
|---|---|
| Wildcats&Wolverines 130.24, Pantalones en Fuego 99.8 | 30.44 |
| Here Come the Irish 106.74, The Vibes Voyagers 102.08 | 4.66 |
| Chitown daddy 109.1, Little Ditka Energy 98.26 | 10.84 |
| T-t-t-t-today Junior! 102.6, Sarah's Boss Team 98.2 | 4.4 |
| ManBearPig 118.5, The Snap 62.26 | 56.24 |
| The Sonoran Dogs 88.78, Davante’s Inferno 75.22 | 13.56 |
| Sama's Fine Team 84.86, Edred's Expert Team 76.68 | 8.18 |
That's seven finals and one through-line: this was the week the trade market finally opened, and it still couldn't save the guy who opened it.
Mark's Fire Sale
Nobody trades in this league. The record shows 31 trades across 10 seasons, 2016 through 2025, roughly one for every 92 waiver or free-agent moves — and 2026 sat at zero before this week. Mark broke the freeze twice in four days, from last place, and lost anyway.
On Tuesday, October 13, Mark's The Vibes Voyagers sent Puka Nacua and Justin Herbert to sama (Sama's Fine Team) for Patrick Mahomes and Rhamondre Stevenson. Nacua had just dropped 29.2 on Mark's own roster the week before. Three days later, Friday the 16th, Mark flipped Luther Burden III to Alex's Little Ditka Energy for Rashee Rice.
Mark, here's the bill: Mahomes scored 10.48, Stevenson scored 3.6, and Rice sat on your bench for zero. You lost to StephanieP's Here Come the Irish, 102.08 to 106.74. Nacua gave sama 11 points against the 3.6 from the running back you got for him — a 7.4-point gap, bigger than the 4.66 that just beat you.
The win put StephanieP (Here Come the Irish) at 2-10 in the all-time series against you — still lopsided, but she'll take it. sama backed the deal up by beating Edred (Edred's Expert Team) 84.86 to 76.68; Edred, now 2-8 all-time against sama, is still looking for the formula. Alex didn't fare any better after cashing in on Burden (13.5 for Alex), falling to Hector's Chitown daddy 98.26 to 109.10 and sitting 1-5 right alongside you, Mark.
The real gut punch came off the wire, not the trade desk. Mark cut Michael Penix Jr., who promptly dropped 29.1 for Brent's Pantalones en Fuego, while a free pickup named Germie Bernard gave Mark 20.2 in his own debut. Mark leads the league with 20 moves this season, and the week after a loss he's good for about 10 more. At this point it's not roster management, it's a reflex. Your own interview said it plainly, Mark: "Chiefs, it's all love baby." Mahomes didn't return the favor this week.
The Kicker Games
Spencer Shrader is a kicker, and most weeks that shouldn't decide anything — but for Cristian's T-t-t-t-today Junior!, it did. Cristian beat Sarah (Sarah's Boss Team) 102.6 to 98.2, a margin of 4.4, and Shrader's 9 points were the whole difference. Take him off the roster and Cristian loses.
Sarah, you handed Cristian that game before the kicker even mattered: benching George Holani's 8 points for Kenny Gainwell's 2.9 flips this result on its own. Cristian can't fully gloat either — his benched Chase Brown, a first-round pick, has 27 points across his last four weeks, 32nd of 55 tracked running backs. The bench is outscoring the first round.
Brent's Fifth Straight
Stephanie (Wildcats&Wolverines) didn't just hand Brent's Pantalones en Fuego the week's biggest margin, 30.44 — it was round six of a question nobody in that house has settled yet: who's actually running it this year. Brent and Stephanie came in tied 3-3; her win pushes the series to 4-3, a smaller margin than their last meeting's 45, back in 2025 week nine, but enough to flip the series lead for the first time.
Brent's dropped five straight, tied with Mark for the league's longest active skid. There's one bright spot: Hunter Henry, a round-14 pick, has quietly turned into a top-twelve tight end with 44 points this season. Everywhere else is the problem — A.J. Brown, Brent's round-two pick, has 4.2 points across his last four weeks, 57th of 60 tracked receivers, and Brent's still starting him. Henry was the plan working. Brown is the plan not working, and Brent keeps running it anyway.
| # | Team | W-L | GB | PF | Streak | Move |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Davante’s Inferno | 5-1 | — | 703.1 | L1 | — |
| 2 | ManBearPig | 5-1 | — | 648.3 | W4 | ▲1 |
| 3 | Wildcats&Wolverines | 4-2 | 1 | 767.5 | W2 | ▲1 |
| 4 | The Sonoran Dogs | 4-2 | 1 | 707.6 | W2 | ▲1 |
| 5 | The Snap | 4-2 | 1 | 678.4 | L1 | ▼3 |
| 6 | Sarah's Boss Team | 3-3 | 2 | 649.5 | L2 | — |
| 7 | Sama's Fine Team | 3-3 | 2 | 628.8 | W1 | — |
| 8 | Here Come the Irish | 3-3 | 2 | 627.6 | W1 | — |
| 9 | Chitown daddy | 3-3 | 2 | 617.4 | W3 | — |
| 10 | T-t-t-t-today Junior! | 3-3 | 2 | 590.4 | W1 | ▲1 |
| 11 | Edred's Expert Team | 2-4 | 3 | 580.9 | L1 | ▼1 |
| 12 | Pantalones en Fuego | 1-5 | 4 | 582.6 | L5 | — |
| 13 | Little Ditka Energy | 1-5 | 4 | 567 | L3 | — |
| 14 | The Vibes Voyagers | 1-5 | 4 | 528.8 | L5 | — |
Nine teams sit within one game of the final playoff spot, which is exactly why Mark's trades read as desperation and not strategy: his Vibes Voyagers aren't even in that cluster, four games under at 1-5 with nothing left to lose but more draft picks.
- 🏆 Top Score: Wildcats&Wolverines — 130.24
- 🚽 Toilet Bowl: The Snap — 62.26
- 🔨 Beatdown: ManBearPig over The Snap by 56.24
- 😰 Photo Finish: T-t-t-t-today Junior! over Sarah's Boss Team by 4.4
- 📈 Overachiever: Chitown daddy, +17.2 over projection
- 📉 Faceplant: Davante’s Inferno, -50.8 under projection
- 🪑 Bench of the Week: T-t-t-t-today Junior! left C.J. Stroud (28.98) on the bench
- ⭐ Player of the Week: Trevor Lawrence (35.34) — started by Here Come the Irish
Hector's Chitown daddy keeps beating its own number, three straight wins and counting, while Davante's Inferno posted the week's worst miss against projection — the hardware says the same thing the scores did: one lineup call still outweighs any trade Mark can make.
Whether either side of Tuesday's or Friday's deal actually helped anybody will take more than one week to know, and the desk isn't grading it yet. What's already clear: with the cut line this crowded, Mark needs wins a lot more than he needs new names on the roster. Same deal next week, probably with the gap at the bottom just as thin.
Same time next week. Set your lineups.