Kickers decided three games this week
Three nail-biters came down to the extra point unit
Week seven's biggest plays weren't touchdowns. Three games turned on a single kicker, one manager's bench call cost a win that was sitting right there, and the waiver wire kept paying off everyone except the team that cut the player loose. kelsey still posted the week's best score anyway, blemishes and all — proof that a sloppy week can still be the best one.
🏆 WINNER OF THE WEEK — kelsey (Davante's Inferno)
kelsey's Davante's Inferno put up the week's top number, 124.88, running past sama's Sama's Fine Team by 32.26. It wasn't clean: Breece Hall, her own round-three running back, sat for a fourth straight zero while waiver add Konata Mumpfield mustered two points. None of it mattered against sama, who only managed 92.62.
sama still hasn't caught her — this was their ninth meeting, and the all-time series sits at 8-1 in kelsey's favor. kelsey's defense carousel rolled on too, six different units through seven weeks, but whichever one she ran, it worked.
💀 LOSER OF THE WEEK — StephanieP (Here Come the Irish)
StephanieP's Here Come the Irish took the Toilet Bowl at 61.12, a league-worst 43.1 under its own projection. Blame the schedule as much as the roster: Here Come the Irish's opponents have outscored their own weekly averages by 15.25 points a game against her this season, and whatever conspiracy that implies, it isn't new.
The latest churn, Daniel Jones in for Jalen Hurts, makes Jones the fourth home he's found this year — Here Come the Irish just hasn't found one that sticks yet. Across the field, Brent's Pantalones en Fuego finally snapped a five-game skid to get there — a real, sincere exhale for a team that needed one.
| Final | Margin |
|---|---|
| Wildcats&Wolverines 113.32, Little Ditka Energy 111.92 | 1.4 |
| Davante’s Inferno 124.88, Sama's Fine Team 92.62 | 32.26 |
| ManBearPig 109.44, T-t-t-t-today Junior! 101.92 | 7.52 |
| Sarah's Boss Team 107.88, Edred's Expert Team 98.1 | 9.78 |
| The Sonoran Dogs 120.28, The Vibes Voyagers 81 | 39.28 |
| The Snap 93.02, Chitown daddy 87.42 | 5.6 |
| Pantalones en Fuego 88.02, Here Come the Irish 61.12 | 26.9 |
Seven games, seven different margins, and the biggest story of the night was how many of them came down to almost nothing.
The Kicker Games
Three games this week were decided by a single kicker — not an exaggeration, an arithmetic fact. Drew's The Snap beat Hector's Chitown daddy 93.02 to 87.42, and Andy Borregales's 7.7 points were the entire margin; take the kicker off the field and Drew loses.
Sarah's Sarah's Boss Team beat Edred's Edred's Expert Team 107.88 to 98.1 on the same math, with Chris Boswell's 12.4 covering a 9.78-point win by himself. Jake Bates did it for Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines, whose 8.2 points were the whole story in a 113.32-111.92 escape over Alex's Little Ditka Energy.
Drew, enjoy it — your win came with a side of irony. Javonte Williams led the way with 21.5, but after dropping Blake Grupe for Borregales, the best value on your roster was KC Concepcion Jr., who popped for 19.2 on your bench after Hector cut him loose two weeks ago.
Hector leads the league in zero-point starts with six this season, so handing a useful rookie to the team that just beat him is basically Tuesday for him.
Sarah's win had a second hero: Aaron Rodgers, grabbed off the wire this week, scored 15.08 in his debut — enough on its own to decide the game, and his third home of the year.
On the other side, Edred's Tony Pollard scored 35 points, 35.7% of Edred's Expert Team's entire 98.1, and it still wasn't enough.
Alex's Bench Cost Him the Game
Alex's Little Ditka Energy didn't lose to Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines by 1.4 points because the Wildcats were better. Alex benched Dameon Pierce's 11.3 points in favor of Tyler Allgeier's 6.4 at running back — swap those two and Little Ditka Energy wins outright. Add two Brock Purdy interceptions that cost four points at quarterback, and the turnovers alone covered the final margin. Alex, that's two separate ways to hand a win away in one afternoon.
Stephanie wasn't flawless either — Wildcats&Wolverines got a zero out of Emeka Egbuka's starting receiver spot while Ryan Flournoy scored nine points on the bench — but a kicker bailed her out.
Little Ditka Energy has now lost four straight, and at 1-6, this is the second time Alex has started a season 0-2 since joining in 2018 — the last time was 2024, and the playoffs still happened.
Can a 2-0 start become something more than a nice memory? Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines, now 5-2 and winners of three straight, have started a season 2-0 three times since 2017; the playoffs followed just once.
Jeff P Had a Weird, Great Week
Jeff P's The Sonoran Dogs blew out Mark's The Vibes Voyagers 120.28 to 81, the week's biggest Beatdown, and found room for self-sabotage. Joe Burrow went for 36.88 as the league's Player of the Week, and Jeff P picked Omar Cooper Jr. off Here Come the Irish's cast-offs for twenty points in his debut. Mark's best answer never left his bench: Kyler Murray, cut loose by Drew a week earlier, put up 15.9 there while Patrick Mahomes started and managed 6 — nowhere near enough against a thirty-nine-point margin.
- 🏆 Top Score: Davante’s Inferno — 124.88
- 🚽 Toilet Bowl: Here Come the Irish — 61.12
- 🔨 Beatdown: The Sonoran Dogs over The Vibes Voyagers by 39.28
- 😰 Photo Finish: Wildcats&Wolverines over Little Ditka Energy by 1.4
- 📈 Overachiever: The Sonoran Dogs, +13.8 over projection
- 📉 Faceplant: Here Come the Irish, -43.1 under projection
- 🪑 Bench of the Week: The Sonoran Dogs left Bo Nix (28.28) on the bench
- ⭐ Player of the Week: Joe Burrow (36.88) — started by The Sonoran Dogs
The board reads like a highlight reel and a blooper reel for the same team. Jeff P grabbed the Beatdown and the Overachiever badge while also benching Bo Nix's 28.28 points and starting Cade Otton, added this week, for zero. Jeff P, benching twenty-eight points and still winning by thirty-nine isn't strategy — it's a cushion nobody else in this league has.
| # | Team | W-L | GB | PF | Streak | Move |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Davante’s Inferno | 6-1 | — | 827.9 | W1 | — |
| 2 | ManBearPig | 6-1 | — | 757.8 | W5 | — |
| 3 | Wildcats&Wolverines | 5-2 | 1 | 880.8 | W3 | — |
| 4 | The Sonoran Dogs | 5-2 | 1 | 827.9 | W3 | — |
| 5 | The Snap | 5-2 | 1 | 771.4 | W1 | — |
| 6 | Sarah's Boss Team | 4-3 | 2 | 757.4 | W1 | — |
| 7 | Sama's Fine Team | 3-4 | 3 | 721.4 | L1 | — |
| 8 | Chitown daddy | 3-4 | 3 | 704.8 | L1 | ▲1 |
| 9 | T-t-t-t-today Junior! | 3-4 | 3 | 692.3 | L1 | ▲1 |
| 10 | Here Come the Irish | 3-4 | 3 | 688.7 | L1 | ▼2 |
| 11 | Edred's Expert Team | 2-5 | 4 | 679 | L2 | — |
| 12 | Pantalones en Fuego | 2-5 | 4 | 670.6 | W1 | — |
| 13 | Little Ditka Energy | 1-6 | 5 | 678.9 | L4 | — |
| 14 | The Vibes Voyagers | 1-6 | 5 | 609.8 | L6 | — |
Mark's Vibes Voyagers have made more roster moves than anyone, twenty-three and counting, while Ethan's ManBearPig has made exactly two and ridden them to five straight wins and a share of the league's best record.
Seven teams sit within one game of the seventh and final playoff spot — Sarah's Boss Team, Sama's Fine Team, Chitown daddy, T-t-t-t-today Junior!, Here Come the Irish, Edred's Expert Team, and Pantalones en Fuego — so nearly every game left for that group is a game that matters.
kelsey's Davante's Inferno shares the best record with Ethan's team, while Stephanie's Wildcats&Wolverines sit a game back with the most points in the league; the margins that decided this week are about to decide a lot more.
Same time next week. Set your lineups.